To the winners of the 2006 SysAdmin of the Year award, Congratulations!

In the immortal words of Strongbad:

“Now that’s what I’m talking about, that was amazing! I mean.. you… I mean … I’m buying you a pizza!”

- As told to The Cheat after he created the Everybody to the Limit / Fhqwhgads video.

So if any of the winners, runners-up and honorable mention sysadmins are interested, contact us with your favorite local pizza joint and address and we’ll send you a gift certificate. Hopefully your employers reward you with some real bonuses though (see cash/money).

Winners:

Grand Prize: Michael Beck, Emerging Technologies Group

First Place: Sean Thomas, True Prism Technologies

Runners-up: Darren Barry, Micah Anderson, Dawn Lovell

Honorable Mention: Mike Jennings, Nik Keating, Russ Steffen, Denis Roy, Justin Hartwell

Contest Rules: http://www.sysadminoftheyear.com/rules

Notes:

• I’m really surprised Sean Thomas didn’t win.  I mean, he risked his life to save a RAID array from a burning datacenter and then worked around the clock to get his company back up and running. Plus, he looks like he rocks out, especially in his bits and bytes t-shirt.
• All entrants in the original contest had to agree to allowing follow-up sales calls by Splunk representatives (the contest’s sponsor). This is like signing up for a magazine, because you know you’re gonna get barraged with marketing calls for years to come. I can assure all of the winners that the pizza won’t come with a side of cold-call coleslaw. (That doesn’t make any sense, but neither cold-calls nor coleslaw go well with ‘za.)
• I never like contests that have a “grand prize” and a “first place” winner. In my mind, the first place winner should get the grand prize. Thats how it was done on Bozo’s Grand Prize Game after all.

“I’m sad that I didn’t get the grand prize…”

“This Server we bought… um, it’s DOA.”
Nobody ever likes that call, So what do you do next?

Keep the following in mind before proceeding: You’re not a server tech, so tread lightly here. However, you can solve some issues before calling a tech, or at least collect some good info to help them out. Finally, stay relaxed (with a sense of urgency).

Step 1: Reseat and Reboot (80% sucess rate!)
Open up your server (power off), re-seat the memory, drives, CPUs and any other potentially loose components. Reboot. At this point, it’s likely that you’re back in business. Honestly, this solves at least 80% of the calls that we get when the system won’t boot right out of the box. We test everything before we ship, so loose components, due to vibration from transport, are usually the culprit.

Just last week we shipped a used Sun server to Florida via freight carrier and I received this call. I asked the client to reseat the memory and it worked like a charm. We pack everything with extreme care, but you can’t avoid the vibration of the big rigs that haul our servers across the nation.

Step 2: Collect Information (need input)
Get ready to write down as many details as you can. You don’t want to ask the client twice; she needs to install this server by 2PM, Eastern Time. Its’ likely the client will give you the relevant error issues, but here are some helpful details to gather:

• Error Log: Can the client get past boot to the point where they can print off or email an error log? This is gold for a qualified technician as troubleshooting material.
• Display option: Is there any display at all? If so, is the client using a graphics card and monitor or the serial port and a terminal? Some older servers also require a keyboard and mouse to be connected, so you might want to ask if they’re using these, too.
• Sequences: Are there any flash sequences or irregular patterns showing on the keyboard LED or on the server’s start button?
• Lights: This is obvious, but green is good and red or orange is usually bad.
• Additions: Anything recently added to the server before it failed?

Step 3a: Call an Engineer or tech support (smart move)
These guys are good. They’ll be happy you gathered some info ahead of time, too. Even if you did spell it “scuzzy” instead of SCSI.

Step 3b: Go for it! (good luck sucka)
If this were a Choose Your Own Adventure book, your most likely outcome would be an unfortunate encounter with either a rogue asteroid or a mutant tiger. Here are three real dangers to be wary of:

• Static: Static electricity can zap your components, so please use an anti-static wrist strap and do your best to find a static-free workplace. Stay off of carpeting!
• Electrocution: Servers use electricity. Please unplug it before you do anything.
• Your Brute Strength: If a case isn’t opening, you probably missed a screw.

Okay, so if you have absolutely no other option, and this isn’t for a client, read on…

Step 4: Internet (lol)
Remember all of that information you collected in step 2? It’s time to put those clues to use. Even real techs use transactive memory systems such as online forums, to ask about and find information and fixes on system errors.

These forums are usually searchable on Google, so I would start there. Include the model type and error that you’re seeing. Search for something like “keyboard flashes on HP Proliant DL380 error,” if that’s the type of information you’ve gathered. Just remember that you’re in the realm of the internet and the Two-Striped Telamonia, so take any advice with a grain of salt.

added: If you can get past boot and view the firmware and BIOS, look online to make sure that you have all of the latest versions and updates.

Any other tips out there from real techies or savvy sales people?

Disclaimer: I take no liability for any further damage to a server, voided warranties or personal injury which you may incur due to self-troubleshooting. (I warned you about that mutant tiger.)

Before Best Buy dominated the retail electronics universe, they were a fledgling Minnesota upstart and I was a child of the 80′s lucky enough to have TV Darryl on my side.

Best Buy and the Table of No Return
“Put that back… those returns never work.” An early lesson received from my father at the Best Buy “open box table.” Items were discounted 20-50% because the box was open or sometimes missing altogether. The products would carry notes such as “missing antenna” or “scratched screen.” Anecdotal evidence backed up my father’s theory that purchases of these Walkmans and FM stereos would often result in disappointment.

TV Darryl
My father has always had great “connections” and TV Darryl was our electronics repair savior in a time when things didn’t “just work.” They teamed up together at Unisys (and Sperry) as technicians but Darryl had the knack for fixing more than just old mainframes. He kept our TVs, game systems and a VCR going for years. I never did meet him, but I was sure he wore a cape and had some kind of geeky-cool electronics logo on his chest (or at least a sweet Maxell t-shirt).

To my brother and me, the day our first VCR arrived at home was on par with any historical event of that decade. Within a couple of weeks though, it would no longer record the “Friday Night Videos” that I wasn’t old enough to stay up for. “TV Darryl will take care of it,” and of course he did… again and again. They finally retired the silver relic just a couple of years ago.

Vendor Choice
So why does this matter in 2006, particularly in regards to Vendor Choice for used IT hardware? The answer is that it matters a lot. If TV Darryl ever went entrepreneurial and resold repaired electronics, I’m certain that he would have been our exclusive vendor – even at new prices. Trusting your vendors will always be important.

When choosing a partner, buyers need to make sure the vendor has their own version of “TV Darryl” who can take care of anything after the sale. If you’re purchasing refurbished equipment, it’s crucial that they’re capable of ensuring the systems work from the get-go.

The fear that Best Buy’s equipment wasn’t properly tested was enough to keep me away from their returns table. Remembering this experience, I’m always proud to explain to clients how thorough our testing processes are and that everything is guaranteed. Our technical staff holds numerous certifications and they have years of experience.

Of course, a lot of our techs are just crafty in general. I know my son will someday appreciate the “connections” that I now have here, such as “iPod Eric” and “Xbox Jason.”

Thanks in advance guys.